I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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