Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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