I am midnight drunk by noon
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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