ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
