idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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