dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
