okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
