just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
