Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
