never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
