He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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