haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
