Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
