she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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