Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
