Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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