So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
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Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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