I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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