Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Farmville is her only friend.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
