Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
