I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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