I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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