No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
