I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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