Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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