god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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