so explain again why im purple
no
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
