Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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