shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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