she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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