K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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