the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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