no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
