i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
