he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
