i would punch a child for taco bell
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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