how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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