I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
