Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
