Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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