their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I checked into jail on foursquare
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
