the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
