Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize