I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Everclear isn't food dammit
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
