have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
