We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
