Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize