My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
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