There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
