nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
