I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
And then he peed in my hair
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