woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
