Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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