What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
