bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
