i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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