just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
