he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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