Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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