why im i the only drunk person in the library?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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